The Sexual Response Cycle

Most of us know how things go when getting intimate. But did you know there's actually a scientific order to what's going on in our bodies, enough so that we can classify each stage of it?

Masters & Johnson (William and Virginia) came up with the first three stages of excitement, plateau and orgasm. According to wikipedia, Masters hired Johnson to help him in a study about human sexuality (he later left his wife for Johnson, but it didn't last. They divorced in 1992). Helen Singer Kaplan added a fourth stage to their diagram--the resolution stage. This was big because sexual dysfunction is classified in the 4th edition of the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) based on this diagram--it is a dysfunction if it interrupts any stage. What are the stages?

Step 1: Excitement

This is when you start to get horny (I hate that word, just putting it out there). The 'side effects' are quite obvious. For women, the vaginal lips swell and become slightly engorged as blood rushes down, the breasts may swell a little bit, and the vagina starts to get 'wet' with natural lubrication. For men, the penis begins to harden as the blood rushes down, the skin on the scrotal sack (balls) tightens, and pre-ejaculation starts, which is men's version of a natural lubrication. For both genders, heart rate & breathing increase, nipples become erect, and muscles become tense. This period can be brief or long-lasting. Sometimes it will fade away on it's own if sexual activity does not occur; if not, taking care of things yourself is an option.

Step 2: Plateau

This is when the body is roaring to go. It's being turned on to the extreme. This usually occurs after sexual activity starts. Muscles spasms could happen, and the penis may 'jump' and the vagina may contract. Heart rate, breathing and blood pressure keep rising, and muscles tighten even more. The testicles go up into the scrotum and the clitoris goes under the clitoral hood (at this point, direct stimulation of the clit may be painful, the nerve endings are crazy sensitive now), and apparently, the vaginal walls turn deep purple. The body is basically preparing for the next stage.

Step 3: Orgasm

This is the shortest stage. Fore-play and the sexual arousal stages can last really as long as you want them to, but orgasms are always just a matter of time-stopping, blissful, relieving seconds. The muscles all release their tension and start to contract. There is a rapid increase of oxygen, and all the levels from the previous stages (blood pressure, heart rate, breathing) are at their fastest. Women's uterus and vagina contract, and the base of the penis contracts. Most of the time, this causes ejaculation in men, and in some women (men actually can orgasm without ejaculating). Some people get something called a 'sex flush'-they turn a light red almost everywhere on the body, but mostly on the stomach and genitals.

Step 4: Resolution

This is where the body goes back to square one. Women tend to feel emotional and snuggly, men usually feel tired, and both tend to be elated. Men enter their 'refractory period,' which is when the body needs to rest before becoming able to be aroused again. Some women may be too sensitive to attempt another orgasm, whereas some may be able to keep on going!!!

One psychologist, Basson, has stated that whereas this model makes sense, it may differ between women and men. Not all women have an orgasm during sex (sure, men might not either, but the percentage of women who don't faaaar exceed the men). Masters&Johnson's model is considered 'a linear' model, but Basson claims it should be circular. Their model is linear because it assumes that a person follows each stage one by one, from step one to step four. But not everyone starts off in the excitment stage, and not everyone ends in the resolution stage. Assuming the stages go as planned, this is what happens.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masters_and_Johnson
http://healthguide.howstuffworks.com/sexual-response-dictionary.htm
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/sexual-health-your-guide-to-sexual-response-cycle
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=29694&cn=10

Sex & Quarantines

(I was going to title this "Sex in the time of Corona(virus)" as a play on the whole "Love in the Time of Cholera" but then I actually came across TWO different articles with that title. I guess I'm not as clever as I thought, hahah) These are crazy times we are living in. Seeing the world shut down around me feels like a bizarre dream, or like that Goosebumps episode where those kids find a magical typewriter and every weird thing they write comes true... So, many of us are in quarantine right now. It can be hard to fight the boredom and eventual cabin fever that comes with it. But have no fear! If you are stuck with a partner, use this as a time to try some of those things you've always wanted to try. If you're stuck with family or with yourself, maybe try some self-care and find out what makes you happy (sexual or otherwise!). Below is a list of some ideas to keep your quarantine exciting. **First things first, USE PROTECTION. Unless yo

Is there anything I can do to decrease my gag reflex for giving oral sex? Or are there techniques I can use that won't bother my gag reflex?

Yes!!! There are a few things you can do actually. I'll start with the cheapest ideas first--techniques. While giving oral, try folding your tongue up to the roof of your mouth, causing a barrier between the front of your mouth and the back of your throat. The penis will hit your tongue, feeling like it can't go in anymore, and it will create the illusion of you taking him all the way in. Same goes for your cheeks. It's not just a sexual joke when people pretend to puff out their cheeks as if to say they're blowing someone. It can be used!!! Cheeks can be stretchy, and you may be able to pull him in further into your cheeks than into your mouth. The biggest thing with blow jobs is to remember that although the focus is on your mouth on him, that doesn't mean your hands shouldn't be used. Whatever you can't take in your mouth should be in your hands. So if he's 5 inches and you can only take in 2 or 3, be twisting and yanking that bottom part of the sh

Holiday Gift Guide--X-Rated-NSFW

Special thanks to the guy I was talking to on a website who gave me the idea for this post. I hope you enjoy it! :) Thanks again!!! *****This is the same post that was posted back in December of 2012. As it is my most popular post, especially around the holidays, I updated some things and am copying it to the front of my blog. Enjoy!!***** So, it's that time again, to spend all our hard-earned money on things we don't need and will probably not use much. That's not how it should be! Looking to give the gift that keeps on giving? How about some sex toys? People tend to think that if they're in a relationship, they have no need for things you can use independently, like vibrators and such. But it's healthy to have solo time, even in a relationship, and sex toys are a great way to spice up your relationship. Especially if you've never bought anything before, you might be wondering where to start. I'm going to list some of the year's popular sex toys,

The Sex Kitten

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