Saturday, November 5, 2011

Bite my lip and close my eyes...

Masturbation--the thing that a lot of people do and a lot of people lie about doing. But it's totally natural. Even young children do it (of course, not with the means of 'finishing,' they just start playing with themselves because it feels good). And it does feel good. It releases all the same hormones that are released during orgasm with a partner, and the best part is, you don't need someone with you to do it. You don't need anything to do it, except a hand. Of course, many people prefer other things such as sex toys, lube or lotions to get them going, but it's not always necessary.

Some people may feel guilty for masturbating. They might think it's a 'sinful' thing to do, or that they're 'cheating' on their partner. Well, it's not cheating. If you believe it is, that's your loss, but touching yourself when you feel turned on is not on the same level as touching someone else or someone else touching you. And as far as religion goes, well, if you think your religion is against it, then don't do it. But there's nothing wrong with it. It's completely normal and even healthy. The only times it gets to be unhealthy are when you are so addicted to masturbating that you start missing out on life events because you want to do it all the time, rough penetration by a sex toy causing injury, or chaffing (due to dryness or roughness).

A lot of people don't know that masturbation can be a great thing. Did you know it can increase your sex drive, making your sex life better? People who masturbate tend to have a better self-esteem, making sex easier for themselves and their partners. One of the greatest benefits of masturbation is that it helps you figure out what feels good, making it easier for you to orgasm while with a partner. Don't be afraid to tell your partner where to go, to guide them to it, or to touch yourself even while with someone. Most partners find it sexy anyways, and it'll feel super good. If you don't know how to reach orgasm with a partner, masturbate. Don't be afraid or feel weird. Once you find what feels good, incorporate it into your intimate times with your partner.

What are some other benefits of masturbation?

-Relaxation. Orgasm releases tension of all kinds. After peak, your body relaxes and you feel good. It's win-win.

-Sleep aid. Hormones (such as oxytocin) released during orgasm can make you feel sleepy afterward. Some people do it before be as an aid to help them sleep.

-Sexual arousal increases blood flow to the genitals, causing an overall rise in sex drive. This makes you want sex more. What could be bad about that?

You could be just like these people!
-Sex and masturbation can make you live longer. In this day in age, we are always being told what not to do because it can cause cancer or disease. But now we're being told what to do to stop it, and it's something we all love! Sex!! Of course, there are discussions about this. Studies have shown that men who have more orgasms a week tend to die later than those who don't, and those who live later are having sex later as well. Some people argue that this means that sex is the cause; Maybe people who are having sex more are just happier and healthier and therefore have a stronger sex drive. Either way, sex causes happiness and happiness can cause sex. Again, win-win.

-Sex/Masturbation can make you healthy. Hormones released during arousal and orgasm can help decrease stress and even things like headaches. An article in Men's Journal states that having sex even a couple of times a week can raise your immunoglobin levels, which fights off sickness and infections.

-Women: An orgasm can relieve pain caused by cramps!! In the same way that orgasms can decrease pain by headaches and other stresses, it can lessen the pain caused by your period. It's also a great idea since most girls tend to get very horny on their periods.

-It can help with premature ejaculation. Learning how to control your orgasm and how to decided how close you are and how to slow yourself down while masturbating will help you in your next sexual act. Having an orgasm once in a day tends to prolong orgasm the next time. If you have a problem with erectile dysfunction, try masturbating before seeing your partner, and see if that helps you hold on longer during sex. Of course, an overstimulated body can cause a man to not be able to come with a partner.

Men, be careful. Masturbating too much can make you unable to come by anything other than your own hand, as you grow too accustomed to your own touch and pressure. Don't do it too hard or in any strange way for too long. Be careful not to hurt yourself, and it's probably a good idea to use a lube or lotion. Ladies, don't use anything inside you that is not a sex toy (this includes food products and handles of sorts). When using a sex toy, make sure it is clean and don't push it further than is comfortable to you. Also be careful about the pressure you use. Extreme vibrations from a vibrator or movement of a finger can cause a bit of a numbing feeling in the clitoral area. This isn't permanent--feeling will come back. It may just be uncomfortable for a bit. It's common, just be a little easier on yourself or take a break from the vibrator.

Masturbation can make a partner look sexy (while they touch themselves), make you crave sex more, relax you, and help you sleep--all things that alcohol can do! So next time you want a drink but have to work the next morning, touch yourself instead.

Men's Journal - An Orgasm A Day Keeps The Doctor Away.
Women's Health Mag - The Art Of Masturbation.
WebMD, Men's Health - Masturbation: 5 Things You Didn't Know.
Planned Parenthood - Menstruation.
McKinley Health Center - Masturbation.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Bi Curious?

Meredith Chivers is a researcher at the Center for Addiction and Mental Health at the University of Toronto. Chivers did some research and put it in a documentary, Bi The Way, in 2008. What kind of research did she do? She put people in a room and showed them video clips. The video clips ranged from seeing basic naked bodies doing everyday things to pornographic displays. She then measured how their genitals reacted and how aroused they were. What's interesting is the results.

It turns out, straight women are not exactly 'straight.' The straight women that saw clips of naked men really didn't have any kind of arousal. However, if the women saw a clip featuring a naked woman, they became aroused. If it was a pornographic-type clip of men and women having sex, they became aroused. If they saw a clip of two women having sex, they became aroused. They also became aroused while viewing any kind of masturbatory clips. So if these are straight women, why are they getting so easily aroused at the sight of women engaging in either sexual acts with themselves or other women?

As Chivers says, "“Women physically don’t seem to differentiate between genders in their sex responses, at least heterosexual women don’t. For heterosexual women, gender didn’t matter. They responded to the level of activity.”

So what she's saying is that women aren't focused on the whole 'man' or 'woman' label. In public, simply seeing a person of the sex they are attracted to or not attracted to doesn't matter. But if suddenly either one of those genders becomes sexually involved, it is attractive and causes stimulation and increased blood flow to the sex organs. This is groundbreaking, in my opinion. This kind of says that people are neither gay or straight--they are just turned on by whatever they're turned on by. Of course, this is not all women. This was a study of a number of women, not all women in the world. There will absolutely be straight women who are completely disgusted by the thought of being with another woman. But lots of women are not turned off by that thought.

My 'study' wasn't exactly scientific, but I did survey a number of straight women about their sexual activity with other women. Most all of them said they had at least kissed another girl, but identified primarily as straight. But even the ones that identified as straight and dated only men admitted to being curious about girls. Many of them said their kisses with the same sex happened due to a drunken night. But is the alcohol the only thing to blame? Doubtful. Women's bodies are naturally beautiful and when you're drunk, everything seems to look good. Our instincts are looking for sex and we are able to pick out the beauty of a women as much as men seem to be able to do, and we'll take it, despite the fact that we might think of ourselves as single.

Another interesting thing about the study is the scale of it. Straight men really only responded sexually to sex between men and women or solo women. Gay men really only responded to men and men and solo men. Lesbians responded to women and women and solo women. But straight women pretty much responded to everything, even sex between animals!!!!

Does this mean that women are more interested in other women than men when it comes to sex? Not necessarily. Are people who are turned on by feet only interested in relationships with feet? No, and that doesn't make sense. It's simply a turn-on. Women are far more in-tuned to their sexual appetite than society may have once thought. Women are turned on by the act of sex, not necessarily the person/animal involved in said sex. Turns out, women are just kinky as hell. Now all you guys (and maybe girls) out there that have been wondering if your girl would be interested in ___(insert random kink/position here)___, go ahead and ask her. Or better yet, show her a video.

Check out the article in NY Times: New York Times 'What Women Want (Maybe).'