Thursday, August 25, 2011


"My boyfriend and I recently started having sex. The first time, there was some pain and bleeding, which I heard was normal for the first time. But then it happened again, which I don't think is normal. We haven't done anything since then (and yes, we do use protection) but I don't know if I want to do it again if its always going to hurt. :\ Help?"

Pain and bleeding is absolutely normal the first time, and many girls do. It's very common to experience light spotting and discomfort the first few times of sex, or even for a couple days after. Some girls are lucky and there is no pain the first time, but the majority of girls feel discomfort. Since you bled, it's likely your hymen had still been intact beforehand.Some girls have a thick hymen, which might not break when using tampons and things like that, and sex might have finally done that for you.

Other things to consider though, are factors in the pain. Was there proper lubrication? Plenty of women assume they will make the right amount of lubrication, but especially the first times having sex, they don't. Try using a water-based lubricant (Astroglide Natural is great, and you can get free samples of it here) and spend plenty of time on foreplay. While there may be plenty of reasons you may feel pain during sex, the first few times (and even the first few times with every new partner) are typically painful due to nerves. Make sure your body is relaxing. If you are tense at all, it will likely hurt. And try different positions. You might find that girl-on-top is better for you at first because you can control the depth and speed.

As far as pain and blood go, your body has never had something inside of you quite like a penis before. And it's not just going in, it's going in and out at a rapid pace. Rough sex can even cause bleeding in a woman who has been having sex for years, and since your vagina is new at this, it can bleed during the first times.

Make sure you breath, relax, and my always biggest thing--communicate. If it hurts, tell him to stop or take it slow. Pain is your body's way of saying something is wrong, but until you get used to something like sex, it may continue to hurt a bit.

Try it again, with lots and lots and lots of lube. Lots. You can never have enough lube. Try and be comfortable. If you expect it to hurt, chances are, it will. If you continue to experience pain or bleeding after a handful of times, then stop and see your doctor. Bleeding during sex (mostly sudden onsets of bleeding after years of sex) can be a symptom of fibroids, tumors, endometriosis, a vaginal infection, an STD and even cancer. Make sure you have both been tested (if your partner has been with other people).

And if you have had problems with soreness or sensitivity in that area prior to any kind of sexual activity, read my blog post about Vulvodynia. But keep at it, relax, and have fun!!

Top 10 Causes of Bleeding After Sex.--good resource for other women who have experienced/are experiencing bleeding who are not just losing their virginities.

Sunday, August 21, 2011


On request, I am posting an entry about piercings!!! Of course, there are the obvious piercings, like ear, nose, eyebrow, cartilage and other facial&bodily piercings. But not as well known or widely accepted are genital/sexual piercings. So I've compiled a list of all the sexual piercings I could find, along with a picture. Please be advised that some of the pictures are graphic, and if you do not wish to see a picture of genitals and other body parts with piercings, please do not scroll down. :)


Lip--Lip piercings can be great for oral, creating an extra sensation when rubbing against your partner. They are also good for kissing, as it can be something else to play with.

Tongue--Tongue piercings are also good for play during kissing, and also great for oral. There are vibrating tongue rings that can be bought for the purpose of oral.

Nipple piercings are bars going through the nipple. When touched, they can send waves of pleasure through the body. Much like how when a person is turned on, their nipples are extra sensitive, the piercing can add to that sensitivity.


Ampallang--A horizontal bar through the head of the penis. Since the head of the penis is sensitive, the bar can feel good, and also rub against the vagina during sex.

Dydoe--Bars or rings pierced through the ridge of the penis head. Can be pleasurable for both male and female during sex.


Prince Albert--This is the most popular penis piercing, and can be very stimulating. It is a ring or a barbell in the opening (urethra) of the penis.

Frenum--Loose skin on the top of the penis. Can cause intense pleasure in both males and females during sex.

The base of the scrotum is pierced through the perineum (the circular mound between the testicles and the anus).


Christina--The Christina is a vertical piercing from the pubic mound down into the middle of the labia.
Clitoral Hood
Clitoral--Can be pierced horizontally or vertically. Needs to be big enough to pierce. In most women, it really enhances sexual pleasure, but there is the risk of nerve damage if not done correctly.
Clitoral Hood--Horizontal or Vertical piercing over the cover of the clitoris. Rubs against the clit for maximum sexual pleasure.

Inner Labia--Piercing of the inner lips.

Outer Labia--Piercing of the outer lips. Tends to be rejected more than the inner lips.

Triangle--This piercing is done underneath the clitoral shaft.

Fourchette--Vertical piercing at the rim of the vulva, where men would have their guiche. Not every woman has a flap of skin that is able to be pierced in this spot.

Isabella--This one is fairly dangerous and very rare. It can cause nerve damage and loss of feeling if not done correctly. It starts underneath the clit and just above the urethra, and pops out at the top of the clitoral hood.

Overall, piercings can spice up your sex life, but make sure to take proper care so as to not get an infected piercing. Research a piercing before you get it, and make sure you are willing to handle the healing times. If it all checks out--go for it!!!


AskMen--Piercing. Genital Piercing Guide.--follow the links to each piercing information.
BMEzine Wiki--Triangle Piercing.
Wikipedia--Fourchette Piercing.
BMEzine--Isabella Piercing.


"My new boyfriend has a smaller penis. How can I make sex more enjoyable?"

I think the first thing that's important here is how to define 'sex.' Remember that not all sex has to be vaginal intercourse. If you don't feel as much pleasure vaginally, try doing more oral, manual, or mutual masturbation. Also, it's not how big it is, it's how you use it. Focus on touching and stimulating every part of each others bodies--the sex doesn't have to be the biggest part. But there are positions that can make a guy seem long and penetrate deeper.

Doggie Style--Doggie style tends to rub against women's g-spots, since it is only a few inches in on the upper part of the vaginal canal. Because of the position (woman on all fours, head down, man in from behind), the penis will feel like it is penetrating quite deep.

'Rabbit Ears'--Have the woman lay on her back with her legs bent up towards her head and enter from the front. The angle at which the penis enters, combined with her holding herself in a condensed position, will make her feel like you are all the way in her.

Legs Together--Any position where the girl is either on top or bottom (preferably bottom) and she keeps her legs tight and together will make the penis feel like it has to struggle to get in, and it will feel that it fills deeper.

Also, don't be ashamed to accept help! Man on top positions are great because even if he is small, this position causes the clitoris to be rubbed, enhancing pleasure for you. Vibrators and other sex toys are great to add in as well, either for external or internal stimulation. Remember too that there are 'growers' and 'show-ers.' Your guy might look small, but when he's at his sexual peak, he may be totally average. Again, it's not the size, it's how you use it.

AskMen--Sex Positions
Cosmopolitan--Small Penis Positions-Advice