Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Holiday Gift Guide--X-Rated-NSFW

Special thanks to the guy I was talking to on a website who gave me the idea for this post. I hope you enjoy it! :) Thanks again!!!


*****This is the same post that was posted back in December of 2012. As it is my most popular post, especially around the holidays, I updated some things and am copying it to the front of my blog. Enjoy!!*****


So, it's that time again, to spend all our hard-earned money on things we don't need and will probably not use much. That's not how it should be! Looking to give the gift that keeps on giving? How about some sex toys? People tend to think that if they're in a relationship, they have no need for things you can use independently, like vibrators and such. But it's healthy to have solo time, even in a relationship, and sex toys are a great way to spice up your relationship. Especially if you've never bought anything before, you might be wondering where to start. I'm going to list some of the year's popular sex toys, with links on where to get them. These are great gifts for yourself, a partner, or a friend (depending on how close you are). And if you are in a relationship, it's probably a gift for the both of you! Why not spend your money on something like that? Have fun!

Under Amazon Best Sellers, they have a section of sex toys! There are 100 pages, so I'm just going to choose a few from the first couple.



LELO Luna Beads for Kegel exercises. Amazon has them listed for $42.99 with free shipping. But can you put a price on a stronger orgasm? Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which can give you more intense orgasms, as well as better control of your body. And what guy (or girl!) doesn't want their ladies to have better orgasms?! She may have you to thank for them!!




Hitachi Magic Wand Massager! This handy 'lil thing is quite the superstar in a number of amateur porn clips. It has a rating of 4 stars from 1,500 people on Amazon. It will bring you to a body-jerking orgasm that will have you crying out 'Thank you!' to the one who gave it to you. You can actually find similar 'wand massagers' at drug stores around the country, and maybe find it cheaper than the $46.40 price listed on Amazon--prime eligible. But, if you read the reviews, the money might be worth it.




Trinity Deluxe Rabbit Vibrator is awesome, but really, any kind of vibrator will do. I chose this one because it has a lot of cool functions to it. Not only is it a penetrable vibrator, but it also has rotating massaging beads near the base, and vibrating 'rabbit ears' for clitoral stimulation. That's like three gifts in one! And it's really not that expensive at $25.28, and prime eligible!! If you Amazon search/google 'rabbit vibrators,' you can find cheap ones all over!



Fleshlight! Popular funny man Kevin Smith promotes this company up and down, which is how I first heard about it. This pink lady right here will take over as your man's new woman. Why should girls get all the fun? Lots of reviews praise it's 'realistic' feeling and it's tightness. It has a cap you can loosen or tighten, depending on how you like it. It's a nice break from your hand. The 'Classic Pink Lady' Fleshlight is only $48.95 right now, on sale from $64.95 on the Fleshlight website!!


Super Head Honcho Masturbator! I found this one on Adam&Eve, with reviews all over proclaiming it 'The Sex Toy of the Year!' by Sue Johanson, from her show Talk Sex.  You can't ignore that! Apparently, it feels just like a real blowjob, and the material even makes your penis appear large. Your guy will love you for this! And on Adam&Eve, it's only $29.95! There is also a vibrating super head honcho for $34.95!!



G-Gasm Delight G-Spot Vibrator--one more for the men. Come on guys, let's get over the taboo of 'butt' toys and move on to the awesome feelings you could be having from your own g-spot! Stimulate your prostate with the 1.5'' bulbed head, or use it on your partner to stimulate theirs, or their clits or female g-spot. And it's a vibrator, so turn on any of the low to high settings to make it even more pleasurable. This toy is one to share, and for $14.96 (on sale from $19.95), you can't really even afford not to.

Now, with any toy you get, you're going to want some kind of lubricant. Lube always makes everything better. Always. Personally, I always go with water-based. They are safe for toys and condoms (silicone-based lubes can deteriorate some materials, wearing down your toys or causing your condoms to break). So, stop hacking up your spit and grab some of these great selections...






Astroglide Lubricants. Astroglide is, in my own opinion, the best lube out there, especially the natural kind. It is water-based and doesn't have any hormones, flavors, scents, alcohol, glycerin and paraben (the last few which typically cause discomfort or can negatively affect sensitive skin). What could be better? It's silky and not sticky, making clean-up a lot easier. You can typically find it in any drugstore, for around $10. Also, free samples from the Astroglide site! :)



ONEcondoms Oasis Silk. Oasis Silk is the newest personal lubricant from ONE. It is a hybrid lube that offers the advantages of both silicone and water based lubes. It is compatible with silicone toys, as well as latex AND polyisoprene condoms. It is hormone, oil, paraben, gluten, DEA, PEG, dye and fragrance free. Try out either the 2 oz. travel size for $6.95 or the 8 oz. pump bottle for $18.95. Right now, it is only available for purchase in the U.S.




Comfortably Numb Deep Throat Spray. This stuff is a great tool for the guy that loves blow jobs and the woman with a bad gag reflex. It has a numbing agent (I can't find ingredients, but it's probably lidocaine) in it, so when you spray it into the back of your throat, it numbs it so your gag reflex isn't as strong. You likely will be able to take him in further than you could before. And it tastes like spearmint! It's also $7.95, so, not bad.



Nipple Nibblers! This stuff is fun. It's a tasty moisturizer for your nipples (or really anywhere, but they come in tiny little jars, so nipples are easiest). Not only will it keep your nips from chafing, they will be tingly & taste delicious during foreplay time (which will occur before any sexual activity. You hear me, boys?). The jar is small enough that you can carry it around with you and be totally inconspicuous. It's $7.95 for a 2 oz. jar from Adam&Eve, but smaller jars are typically found in adult video stores all around!


 Like A Virgin Tightening Cream. BE CAREFUL with this one. This is something a woman should preferably get for her partner to enjoy, rather than the other way around. You don't want to send the wrong message. A little spot of this in the vaginal canal will make you feel tighter for up to 24 hours, and it will make your guy feel bigger in exchange. At $19 for .5 oz from Pure Romance, it's fairly expensive, but since you use such a little bit at a time, it should last you awhile.



Make Me Cum. This clit sensitizer 'increases sensitivity for stronger orgasms.' It is $9.95 for a .5 oz. jar. You only need to apply a very small amount of this cream to your clitoral area about 10-15 mins. before sex to increase the sensitivity to the area. Try it out!! 

And since 50 Shades of Grey opened the door to all kinds of people trying out BDSM type things...



Sexy Slave Kit--For all you housewives who read about Christian Grey and think you want to be more kinky, start out here. With a blindfold, feather tickler, wrist and ankle restraints, you can comfortably experiment all you want. And for $26.95, it's not a bad endeavor.




First Time Fetish Nipple Teasers Interested in the more painful side of BDSM? How about some nipple clamps? Push the fine line between pain & pleasure with these beginner 2 1/4 in. rubber-tipped clamps with a 12'' metal chain. The chain and clamps are made of nickel-free iron. Only $19.95.

A&E's Scarlet Satisfying Sting Crop. If you are interested in these kinds of things, any crop from any sex shop or porn store will do. This one is currently on sale on Adam&Eve for $22.46, normally $29.95. Also, feel free to try whips and canes as well, if you like the pain.


Fantasy Door Swing. If you like being restrained and having passionate, hot sex against a wall, this is the toy for you. It's portable, doesn't require any drilling, and can hold up to 300 pounds. Throw it over the door and go at it! It's only $49.95!!!

Sportsheets Doggie Strap. I have loved the idea of this since the first time I saw one at a boutique. What a great idea! Guys always want that specific angle, and giving them the reins allows them to get at it, giving you the best g-spot angle. It's padded, so it is more comfortable on your stomach, and it even has a spot to stick a vibrator in, so your clitoris can be stimulated at the same time. This product is awesome, and it's only $21.95. This is probably on the top of my list of best gifts of everything I've seen this year.


Afterglow Natural Massage Oil Candle. An all-natural candle that heats up the massaging wax in its porcelain holder to the perfect temperature, allowing you to be able to pour it on your lover's skin and then massage it into them? Sounds perfect! Hot wax play and intimate massages in one. The smell will turn you on, and so will all the touching. It comes in two different scents--pink orchard and fresh cucumber. It burns as a candle for 32 hours. You can find these awesome massage candles anywhere, but on Adam&Eve, you can find this 4.5 oz. one for $29.95.


Liberator Furniture. Honestly, anything from Liberator's website is going to be a great gift. They have wedges that can double as inconspicuous seats in your home outside of the bedroom. They have normal wedges/ramps and other more curvy one, helping you to get into the perfect position to help you reach that amazing O, while feeling great to your partner. Some of them even have spots where you can stick a vibrator in and use it solo! They even have lounges, benches and foam beds! They can get pretty pricey, but they're totally awesome. Check them out. This particular wedge in the picture is the Liberator Flip-Ramp, and it is normally $170, currently on sale for $159. Like I said, expensive, but these can be used in and out of the bedroom, and they are made to please--and to last ;).



New Comers Strap-On and Dildo Set. Need some penetration in your lives? Try this strap-on. The harness can fit up to 60 in. waists, and the purple dildo is 4 in. long and .75 in. wide. The harness can hold other dildos up to 1.25'' in diameter and is machine-washable. It even includes a free lube sample!! At $39.95, it is a best seller on Adam&Eve.

Smoothie 18'' Double Dong. Spice up your scissoring with this jelly-like dildo! This light purple 18 in. long, 1.5 in. wide flexible toy is compatible with water-based lube. Use soap or other toy cleaners to keep clean after each use. It is double-ended for twice the fun. This is also a best seller on Adam&Eve, for $19.95.



Anti-bacterial Toy Cleanser. For $5.95, a 4 oz. bottle of cleanser will keep your toys clean and sanitary. It is on Amazon, and unfortunately it isn't prime eligible, but it does have free shipping.

New one here--check out anything from ONEcondoms!! There are packs of condoms and lubes and bundles. Check out the glow-in-the-dark condoms for an extra fun gift ;).



As always, lingerie is always great. Make sure you get the right size, or know the return/exchange policies if you can't for some reason get a size, or if it doesn't end up fitting.

Now, it should go without saying that playing it safe is necessary! Make sure to stock up on condoms (latex, polyisoprene, lambskin, anything that works for you), or other protections (birth control pills, dental dams, contraceptive sponges, contraceptive films, spermicides, regular STI testings, etc.). Make sure toys are cleaned properly and fully after every use, and double check before each use.

Remember, these are only a few products that I chose to put in here. There are TONS of toys, accessories, clothes, lubes, oils, lotions, creams, furniture, etc. that you can experiment with.
From the HuffingtonPost Canada--"With global sales of 'pleasure goods' rising towards 400 million, according to a study entitled "Women, Sex and Shopping," they're quickly catching up to mobile phone sales."
Wow! People buy and use these things more than you might think. It's time to make it more acceptable to talk about and buy for each other. In 2001 (which, keep in mind, was 15 years ago), the Canadian CBC Marketplace estimated that about $500 million of sales in North America are from sex toys and other related sexual products. Awesome!

Check out some of the links, search around on the websites and see if you can find something you like. It's the gift for one or two (or more!) that keeps on giving, especially if you use them right ;). A lot of websites have some great sales going on right now.

If you have a toy that you really like, tell us about it in the comments, what it is, why you like it, how you use it, etc.

Thanks everyone. Make sure to make time to sneak off for some one-on-one action while staying with relatives this month, or at least have someone watch the kids for awhile! Make it a goal to perfect the art of quickies. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, and Happy Holidays!

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